I am not a fan of the 50 Shades saga. That kind of kinky and rough sex is just not my type. But what if I tell you that for a time and sometimes in my past, I was my ex’s Anastasia Steele? Well, the sex was not as rough and cold as Ana and Christian’s but it was close to it. Ironically, those were the moments that I wished never happened. I was just too crazy in love with him!

The first sex with him was far from being romantic. He was a virgin while I was not. We were already less than a month into our relationship when he thought that it was time to level up our physical intimacy. It all started with one passionate kiss inside a movie house. Then he asked me to consider going with him in a motel.

Ï was shocked at his suggestion. I was not a virgin anymore but my conservative instinct told me that that was not a good idea. We went outside the movie house because his voice was getting a little louder.

He hugged me and kissed me and then looked straight into my eyes.

“If you really love me, you will go with me,” he said.

I tried to push him away but he held me tightly. I was getting conscious of the people looking at us. Then finally, I gave in.

We went to a cheap motel and I could feel my body trembling. He was anxious; it was his first time. The receptionist looked at us with a naughty smile on his face. I became defensive and told him that we were husband and wife.

The roomboy led us to our room and then left us alone. For at least five minutes, my then boyfriend and I were just looking at one another. I asked him if he brought a pack of protection. He became tensed and asked me if it was necessary.

“I am clean!”he said, with a slight irritation on his voice.

“Of course, you’re a virgin. I just want to avoid getting pregnant.”

He went outside the room and proceeded to the receptionist, barefooted. He asked for a condom and the receptionist laughed so hard at him. He went back to our room and got his shoes to buy a condom elsewhere.

While I was alone, I thought of backing out. I was emotionally not ready to give myself to him. At that point, my love for him was not strong enough yet to take all the risks. I got my sandals and wore it, combed my hair and was ready to get out of the door. To my surprise, my then bf was back! It took him just less than 5 minutes to be away!

He showed me the condom and started kissing me. I pushed him away and told him that I needed to take a shower first. The bulb at the bathroom was busted so I let the door half-closed for a little illumination. He stood outside the bathroom and watched me. I became conscious and sprayed water at him. When it was his turn to shower, he tested the water and said that he preferred a hot shower. It was a cheap motel so there was none. He decided not to take a bath, in the end.

Our first sex was not really impressive. It was probably because I was not ready. It was probably his male ego or just his over-excitement when he thrust himself forcefully. When he was over, he said that he removed the condom before the thrusting. I panicked and went to the restroom to wash. There was pain in my private area and I told him about it. He laughed it off and reminded me that I was not a virgin anymore in the first place. I kept quiet and accepted that it was probably just my imagination playing on me.

They said that the first sex or making love between two people in love is the sweetest. Ours was far from being sweet and romantic. … and I thought that it was normal and acceptable.

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