Six months after we became a couple, he proposed that we should live together. With all due respect to those who are living in, I personally believe that a couple should wait until marriage before they share a bed and a house. I told him that living in was against my principle in life. He said that the best benefit of living in with him was that he could protect me more because we would be together from house to work and vice versa. He even said that living in would just be a preparation for our future married life. I gave in. A week after my birthday, I left the place that I shared with female officemates and joined Grey. My landlady’s reaction was that of a concerned mother when I bid her good-bye. I did not mention about my new life but maybe, being older and more experienced, she knew that I was about to cohabit with Grey.

Our new place used to be a motel so we did not have the luxury of space to cook. The bed was queen-sized and the bathroom and room were spacious. There was a concrete canopy that served as our veranda for stargazing. I brought our old black and white television from home that served as our entertainment during idle days. The first night was awkward though it was not our first time to be together in bed. The first week, we were like honeymooners. The blissfulness was short-lived when Grey started to went home late. I felt alone and neglected but I tried to understand that he wanted to focus on his work. I had no friends from the other units so the boredom was sometimes too much to handle. We were technically a common law husband and wife and yet in my mind, I felt that I was shortchanged and robbed of the life that I preferred to live. Truly, love makes a person prone to committing stupid mistakes!

“Don’t tell your officemates where you live.”

That was his instruction. My bestfriend and I had a falling out when she found out that I was no longer living in the all-female dorm. I wanted to explain my situation but I thought that it would be more complicated so I decided to just keep quiet and let our friendship die a natural death. My parents who were occasionally at the city for some work or business-related activities were clueless that I was already living in with Grey. I was afraid that they would not understand my choice. Assessing my young self, I realize that the reason why I did not want to tell anyone that I was in that situation was because I was ashamed of the choice that I made. I loved Grey but I was also a woman of principles. When I bent those principles, I felt that a part of me died with it.

Grey would shower me with all the expensive gifts he could afford and yet ignore me as if I was not related to him. The rollercoaster relationship started on that old motel.

**********

Young girls out there, when it is a rollercoaster relationship, LEAVE. A truly happy relationship is one that has more laughter and less tears.

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