Six months into our living in arrangement, I was still not used to the place and the set up. What made my paranoia worse was when two of our officemates moved in to the unit next to ours. Grey and I agreed to keep our set up a secret and having acquaintance around made our living arrangement an open secret.

While I was discovering more discrepancies about the person that I was living in with, there were also happy days together. Our happy days were void of expensive things and it was at this point when I felt that I was falling in love with him. The kind of love that was beyond his physical good looks; I fell in love with him unconditionally and this love became a curse to me in the course of almost seven years. It was also blessing in the sense that I was able to love someone even if that someone did not deserve that kind of pure and unconditional love.

The problem with me was that Grey was slapping in my face that his level of love was more on the physical and yet I was too blinded to see that all he wanted was a sex partner. For Grey, looks matter so there were occasional arguments about what I should wear and what I should not wear. These were just petty fights yet it also reflected his ideals in a woman.

There was a street party to go to when I decided to wear a large comfortable shirt and shorts. He disapproved and said I was funny wearing that attire. I got a little hurt and changed to a more fitting shirt. I forgot about the small argument later because the street party was really fun!

We went home at mid-night, took a shower together and made love in bed. Hours later, I woke up and found out that somebody broke into our unit and stole our cellphone, money and signature clothes! I woke up Grey, both of us were still naked. He seemed to have a hang-over from last night’s street party so he was just looking of me while I was crying.

“Please embrace me, Grey!”I said. I was crying not because we lost some valuables but because the thought of a thief entering our unit and then seeing me naked terrified me. What if the intruder raped me?

I asked Grey to report the incident to the management of the motel and they advised us to have a police blotter about it. In a few minutes, a policeman went to our unit and checked where the intruder possibly entered. He pointed at the open window of the bathroom.

That incident left a permanent scar in my mind. I became safety freak after that. Grey would have made a big difference by embracing me while I was crying but he didn’t. In effect, I became a big fan of pepper spray, alarms and self-defense.



Ladies, if your man cannot protect you, then it is not bad to demand a little comfort like a hug. If he can’t even offer you that, then leave!


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