It had been two weeks after knowing that I was pregnant and despite the physical and sexual exhaustion, there were no signs that I would lose the baby. Grey resorted to researching about natural abortifacient and discovered that large doses of ascorbic acid could lead to miscarriage. He lost no time in buying two bottles of ascorbic acid and instructed me to take 1-1000 milligrams tablet every four hours. That would have been 4000 milligrams of ascorbic acid per day and I was afraid of the other side-effects aside from losing the baby. I was 3 and a half months pregnant by this time and the bump was slowly showing.
I was worried about the ascorbic acid’s effect on my stomach because I was always throwing up every afternoon and taking a high dose of it might cause hyperacidity. For some strange reason, Grey handed over his ATM card to me.
“You will now take care of our budget.”
It gave me a little hope that maybe, he was ready to settle down this time and keep the baby. I excitedly told him to ask his married officemates on how to run a household. His mood changed from happy to irritated and went back to giving me instructions on how to take the ascorbic acid correctly.
“What are you feeling aside from dizziness?”
“I always feel tired.”
“Does this one hurt?” he pinched my nipples and felt something beneath my clothes. He untied my pink nighties and laughed at what he saw.
I put a layer of cotton ball and taped them on my nipples to prevent them from touching my nighties. He asked me to remove them as they looked weird. I carefully removed them because the nipples were hurting like hell! Grey gently rolled his two fingers on my nipple and squeezed them. His fingers got a little wet and he was surprised to see me leaking at this early stage of pregnancy. He assumed that it was a healthy pregnancy, one that required more efforts to terminate. He sucked my nipples and said that breast milk did not taste like milk at all. Surprisingly, as the pregnancy was progressing, I was reacting more to Grey’s touches and advances. This would have a repercussion to me later on.
Being the Jekyll and Hyde that he was, his phone calls to my office landline seemed to be an innocent check up whether I had taken my “vitamins” or not yet. My teammates would tease me about it because they thought that he was just being sweet. Little did they knew about the real reason why he had to know if I had taken the ascorbic acid or not yet.
Going home to my parents’ house was a challenge when it comes to taking the ascorbic acid. There was a time when I almost confided to my mother but she had her own issues, too so I decided to keep my pregnancy a secret.
Back to our workplace, Grey was getting more competitive. His hard work was now paying off and he was slowly creating a name for himself. This made me insecure because he was not just another bachelor anymore but one who was a fancy of every women I knew. I couldn’t use my pregnancy as a leverage to keep him because settling down with me was the farthest thing on his mind. My teammates thought that I was a strong and independent woman because their basis was just my job performance. They had no idea that I was hopelessly in love with a man whose love for me was questionable. They had no idea that I was treated as a sex object and the pregnancy was a result of an unprotected sex. Even my closest friends were not aware of my pregnancy because that was how Grey wanted it all along. In all fairness to me, I had my own share of male admirers that Grey found either disrespectful of him or a sex addict like him. Of course, these were just Grey’s accusations and I wouldn’t tolerate an officemate to make a pass on me.
One time, he caught one of his teammates looking at me. He put his arm around me and brushed his hand on my breast. I removed his arm and told him that it was humiliating.
“You are just enjoying his attention,” he whispered to me in an annoyed tone.
“Are you crazy? I’m pregnant, remember?”
“He doesn’t know, bitch!”
We pretended that we were just playing around so his teammate had no idea about the jealous streak. The green-eyed monster proved his dominance later on….stronger…rougher.