Until now, I still don’t know why Grey’s affection for me was in roller coaster mode. Looking back, I became too available for him and never gave him the chance to chase me. I was afraid to lose him and I was willing to surrender my pride if only for the sake of the relationship. Wrong move.
Grey’s character is something that would fascinate writers and psychologists. He was a good person and a loving son and brother but he could also be a manipulative and domineering boyfriend. My past as a woman with a child born out of wedlock was also an issue for him. To add insult to injury, the woman whom he thought of somebody that was influential in her hometown was just a woman born to a poor family (Well, comparing it with our rich relatives, we were poor by their standards).
There was probably love but that love was not enough. I was not his ideal girl. Period. Even when he kept his real feelings from me, I could feel where I stood in his life and it made me more paranoid and worried.
It was one of our company outings at the beach. I asked Grey if he wanted to come with me. He said that it was okay if I went there without him because he had work to finish at the office. It was already dark when we reached the beach. The waves were strong, I could smell the saltwater. One of my teammates, the one who texted me after I was discharged at the hospital, asked me if I had company. I told him that my close friend was with me and she was just at the cottage to pee.
“What about a date tonight? What do you think?” then he put his arm around my shoulder.
“Grey will call me up in a while. Excuse me,” it was an alibi.
Coincidentally, Grey’s officemates had just arrived and had I gave in to his advances, then I would have to explain to Grey what it was all about. Deep inside, I expected that Grey would be one of those who just came in. I wanted him to see the beauty of the beach and maybe there would be another chance to fix our relationship. I waited for Grey’s texts but there were none. I felt a little hurt.