I was awakened by a heavy weight on top of me; I couldn’t breathe. I tried to move my arms but they were tied on the bed post. An object touched my neck, I was not sure if it was a gun or a knife. I knew I was in trouble.

Three years ago, a thief walked into our unit while Grey and I were sleeping. The trauma of having an unwelcome visitor still affects me up to the present time. But on that particular night, I knew that the case was different from three years earlier.

I tried to adjust myself from the dark surroundings to at least identify who was on top of me. The intruder was breathing heavily, the scent of alcohol was recognizable. I thought of Grey who must still be out and working…or enjoying? The intruder started harassing me. He touched me on my private parts then I tried to close my thighs. Then he removed my underwear and rubbed his penis on my vagina. He tried to penetrate me but was unsuccessful at first because of the dryness. The next attempt was successful and painful. The intruder mashed my breasts while pumping. He was breathing heavily while I was silently crying. When he was over, he turned on the light. Still in shock, I was speechless while he was untying me.

“Don’t cry. It’s just me!”

I did not answer.

“You did not enjoy because you thought it was another man?”

I did not answer.

“It’s okay, it’s over.”

I did not answer.

“It was not rape, I was just playing.”

I did not answer.

I did not answer because it was useless to argue with a drunken Grey.

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